Why am I so tired... probably because I keep wakin up the other night... devil was in my head some... plus I was coughing last nite... he been trying to sayin to me I had a disease.... when in my heart... I believe I don't.  I prayed to God and HE says I dont either... I just a problem with my fear... its terrible thing... I tryin to fix myself there, ya know? well I feelin sick... I love you all, keep praying for me.

Well things are still goin okay... I am cursing again unfortunely... the ex is still there... I am talking to one of my best friends since the 9th grade but she confused too and doesnt know if she wants to date... I understand that, so I am not rushing... I am still in a bad job... I am tired of bs in  a way.... I am still struggling but I am hanging in there... I still talk to God. I drop a class at skool cuz I was scared to fail it...But other than that, things are doing fine... Just need you all to keep me in prayers... the devil is buggin and I am fighting back.

I AM NOT GOING TO LET THIS SORRY PIECE OF TRASH BEAT ME! I CAME TOO FAR TO GIVE UP! IM NOT GOING LET MYSELF FAIL!!! I MAY WANT LOVE... I MAY WANT TO FIND MY TRUE LOVE... BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE, THE DEVIL IS NOT GOIN TO MAKE ME GIVE UP! GOD GAVE ME THIS LIFE AND IM GOING TO USE IT! IF I DONT GOT A LOVE IN THIS WORLD, SO BE IT. THATS NOT GOIN TO STOP ME!

So yeah.... I had to let out some anger.... I love you all... Tay, your just a friend now... Get over it... ive done all i could for you and you still rub another man's name in my face like Im crap... best believe, your immature and i am glad i didnt marry you so quickly...time to grow up!!! You need to TRULY see what you have done!!! this is not something you just play with, this a man who been there when others wasn't, support when others didn't and always ensured to you that not only God was here for you, I would be here for you either in spirit or physical or both... Thank God for let me experience this before I married you... Your a good friend and a nice good person... but your goin to have to find urself and STOP HIDING!!! The more you hide... the more it will become worse! I love you, but you pushed me to this point... chance of us get back together now is 25%... before I do this again, you'll gotta find Tay... NOT angel.

To Jessica: I love you and your my best friend for 7 long yrs... Thank you! Hope we can re light our candle one day and see why God keeps bring us together, if its fate for something, I would like to know... if not, I still wanna know. You too, need to figure out what you wanna do... your not as far off as tay... I believe in the both of you. I love you just as much I love her.

To all my friends on Xanga and around the world: THANK YOU ALL AND I CANT BE MORE THANKFUL, EVERYONE WHO GETTING MARRIED, YOU HAVE MY BLESSING AND LOVE, ALL WHO IS HAVING A HARD TIME, YOU HAVE MY BLESSING AND LOVE, TO ALL OF YOU, YOU ALL HAVE MY BLESSING AND LOVE. DONT STOP BELIEVING IN THE LORD, HE DONE SO MUCH FOR US AND HE WILL NEVER LEAVE US.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND I HOPE YOU ALL SEE THAT I AM TRULY A GOOD GUY LIVING LIFE AS A SWEET GUY WHO DOING HIS BEST TO LIVE AND YOU ALL, HIS FAMILY, GOD, AND HIS FRIENDS AND HIS HEART IS WHAT HAS GAVE HIM STRENGTH TO KEEP ON GOING.

MUCH LOVE,

DOUG